Last Minute

I hardly slept last night with the anticipation of not knowing exactly what was going to happen today. Every three hours another x-ray was taken of Emerson’s digestive system since yesterday at 2:00. Each time I called apparently the contrast dye barium had not emptied into his colon. I woke up and rushed to get Stratton all ready; Aunt Margie is such a sweetheart and was willing to watch him while I stayed at the hospital with Emerson. 11:30 surgery was scheduled and I still hadn’t heard the final decision of whether he would or would not have surgery today. 11:35 a representative of the surgeon Dr. Eagan came in and notified me that the barium had still not reached the colon and the surgery would be canceled.

I have to admit I am kind of bummed out. I really am ready and waiting for Emerson to start getting better. I want him to be able to eat and maybe utilize the milk that I have been saving over the past 8 weeks. I recently have been dumping my milk because I already have over 500 bottles and am now running out of room in the freezer. This is getting very wearing for all of us, especially Emerson. Our Dr., Dr. Lillian wants to start feeding him again due to the TPN ( Nutrients through IV fluids) causing him to swell with over a pound of water weight. His body isn’t utilizing and absorbing the nutrients like it needs to be. The TPN is also hard on the liver and Emerson is starting to get jaundice as a result. It makes it very difficult because Dr. Lillian a brilliant man who has watched over Emerson each day since his arrival at St. Joseph’s has been pushing for surgery for the past three weeks and thinks that it is absolutely necessary. The surgeon on the other hand has much more patience considering he has only seen Emerson two times in eight weeks. The Dr.s can’t seem to agree, which to be honest kind of makes me nervous.

So what do we do now?

I received a phone call from the surgeon this evening and he wants to wait for the barium to reach the colon. In the meantime they will do another x-ray every 8-12 hours to see what the dye is doing and check for obstructions or strictures in the bowel. If the barium does go through even if it is very very slow moving the surgeon will say, “Let’s start feeds again.” Then it is just another period of waiting to see just exactly what the feeds will do. A barium study will then be done again during the time of feeds and hopefully will give them some insight of what is going on. In the end, surgery will still be a possibility.

I am getting worn out with waiting around and part of me was disappointed that the surgery was canceled today. I was praying often and I just felt like it is so important that I trust Heavenly Father. He does have a plan and knows exactly what he is doing. I was reminded of so many of my prayers when I say we love thee and trust thee. I always pray that the surgeons and Dr.s will be inspired and do what is best for Emerson. Dr. Lillian told me today that he has never seen a baby obstruct as bad as Emerson without perforating. That alone reminded me once again of Heavenly Fathers hand in this entire process. I need to be patient and remember that Heavenly Father loves us and knows exactly what he is doing.

To reiterate my thoughts of being patient and trusting Heavenly Father I want to share something special that happened tonight. Dean my Father in law was sitting at the table tonight eating dinner and I came over and sat next to him and said in frustration, “Dad, can you believe that they didn’t do the surgery today?” He then stopped and said, “Marisa, you know that I have been praying that the Dr.s will receive inspiration and be directed on what to do? Maybe Emerson doesn’t need surgery maybe he needs just a little more time to heal on his own?” When Dean said this it calmed me and reassured me once again that I need to have a little more patience and trust in what is most important.